Hard to believe it's just about Aug. Who would of thought or imagined that I would be in this situation., my thoughts run ramped about my children,family an all the what if's. Really need to get a lawyer hired to do my last willl an also to pay for my burial needs. omg it going so slow, I just want to get all done.
I went to a family birthday party yesterday an it was real nice to get out, I do not get out much because I'am afraid of having an attack but I need to get out more, just have to force myself. Have a good day everyone
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Saturday July 30 , 2011
Friday the doctor asst called an she said the doctor said if I had the surgery the only way it would be worse is if I started smoking after the implant.That's good news. Trying to think of a way to get my burial needs all paid for so my kids don't have to worry about it or have the debt. So I'am going to the funeral home next week if I can find a ride an see if I can set up some kind of fund thru them for donations to pay for cost. I hate having to do all that (asking people for help) but I see no other way.It's so expensive an Iam afraid I won't have it paid off in time. It all consumes my thoughts.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My daily thoughts of life after I found out that I needed a lung transplant.: This evening
My daily thoughts of life after I found out that I needed a lung transplant.: This evening: " It's 9:12 p.m. an my 7yr old son is with his dad tonight an my daughter Liz is with her sister an she will be home tomorrow. I was on the ..."
My daily thoughts of life after I found out that I needed a lung transplant.: My first thoughts
My daily thoughts of life after I found out that I needed a lung transplant.: My first thoughts: " On January 20, 2011. I was told by my doctor that I needed a lung transplant, Yes it was a shock! Though he is a lung doctor, he told ..."
This evening
It's 9:12 p.m. an my 7yr old son is with his dad tonight an my daughter Liz is with her sister an she will be home tomorrow. I was on the phone with my daughter Ashley whom will care for Liz (after) well you know.
We were discussing the raising of her in some aspects an then went on to discussing how I was talking with my neighbor on trying to find a cheap cemetary an casket, Not a nice discussing to have especially with my daughter.
I hate talking about that with her but she is my ride, she is going to be the caretaker an she needs to knows all aspects of what is happening an she knows that. And she knows I'am trying to figure out a way to take care of all the services before I pass.
This Evening I am having chest pains an the pressure is so great, that it scares me an no I did not tell my daughter. I made a point to tell my children every night that I love them.
So tomorrow I call these 2 cemetary because I was told they take payments and It might be only 2,000 but I will know for sure tomorrrow. So we have our fingers crossed.
I'am not feeling sorry for myself but I weep for my children whom I wanted to see have get married, have children an all the good stuff. And most of all to be there for all of their graduation first, then their 1st job. I still have 2 kids left to do that.
I pray every night an ask for forgiveness an pray for my kids. I ask for longer time, I say just not yet please...
We were discussing the raising of her in some aspects an then went on to discussing how I was talking with my neighbor on trying to find a cheap cemetary an casket, Not a nice discussing to have especially with my daughter.
I hate talking about that with her but she is my ride, she is going to be the caretaker an she needs to knows all aspects of what is happening an she knows that. And she knows I'am trying to figure out a way to take care of all the services before I pass.
This Evening I am having chest pains an the pressure is so great, that it scares me an no I did not tell my daughter. I made a point to tell my children every night that I love them.
So tomorrow I call these 2 cemetary because I was told they take payments and It might be only 2,000 but I will know for sure tomorrrow. So we have our fingers crossed.
I'am not feeling sorry for myself but I weep for my children whom I wanted to see have get married, have children an all the good stuff. And most of all to be there for all of their graduation first, then their 1st job. I still have 2 kids left to do that.
I pray every night an ask for forgiveness an pray for my kids. I ask for longer time, I say just not yet please...
My first thoughts
On January 20, 2011. I was told by my doctor that I needed a lung transplant, Yes it was a shock! Though he is a lung doctor, he told me to see a lung transplant doctor so I did. My lung transplant doctor said" If I have the surgery that I would be in worse shape after than I am now. I just kinda took every thing in an not knowing what to ask then an left everything at that an when I got home I went over everything in my head an called the doctor back to ask more questions. So waiting to hear back from him. (I called Friday)
When I first found out, I began to try an figure everything out of what needed to be done so my kids would not have to worry about, well you know my funeral cost, things they needed an information they need or want .I began by searching for cost of bural plots, cost of lawyer for last will, writting individual notes to all my children , letting them know what they did as babies,toddlers an funny or sad things they did. Just so they would know because I may not be there later for them to ask.
I'am printing pictures for all of them, so they can put them in their rooms cause I may not be there later.
I have been ill for a long time, but May 1st, 2011 I finally got insurance. I was without my medicine for a long time. I stop work about 3yrs ago an got on Retirement Disability for my Lungs an I have COPD,, 19yrs ago I had lung surgery an it was caused by the doctors putting to much air in me before or during surgery I was having for etopic pregnacy, That's what they told me anyway. My left lung collapsed after surgery an so after waiting the 10 days it did not heal by itself so the doctor had to staple it.
Yes! I'am scared, but more for my children, I'am calm an collective. But my thoughts of what need to be done are often an I know I cannot do everything right away because I have to save for it.
My oldest daughter is taking it well so far as I can see but she kinda has too, I have let her know all required info I think an next week I go see a lawyer to take care of my will.
My 14yr girl is going to live my oldest daughter because I am unable to take her to all of her appointments an to go to activities, she needs a normal life of happyness an not sadness,
When I first found out, I began to try an figure everything out of what needed to be done so my kids would not have to worry about, well you know my funeral cost, things they needed an information they need or want .I began by searching for cost of bural plots, cost of lawyer for last will, writting individual notes to all my children , letting them know what they did as babies,toddlers an funny or sad things they did. Just so they would know because I may not be there later for them to ask.
I'am printing pictures for all of them, so they can put them in their rooms cause I may not be there later.
I have been ill for a long time, but May 1st, 2011 I finally got insurance. I was without my medicine for a long time. I stop work about 3yrs ago an got on Retirement Disability for my Lungs an I have COPD,, 19yrs ago I had lung surgery an it was caused by the doctors putting to much air in me before or during surgery I was having for etopic pregnacy, That's what they told me anyway. My left lung collapsed after surgery an so after waiting the 10 days it did not heal by itself so the doctor had to staple it.
Yes! I'am scared, but more for my children, I'am calm an collective. But my thoughts of what need to be done are often an I know I cannot do everything right away because I have to save for it.
My oldest daughter is taking it well so far as I can see but she kinda has too, I have let her know all required info I think an next week I go see a lawyer to take care of my will.
My 14yr girl is going to live my oldest daughter because I am unable to take her to all of her appointments an to go to activities, she needs a normal life of happyness an not sadness,
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