This evening

  It's 9:12 p.m. an my 7yr old son is with his dad tonight an my daughter Liz is with her sister an she will be home tomorrow. I was on the phone with my daughter Ashley whom will care for Liz (after) well you know.
  We were discussing the raising of her in some aspects an then went on to discussing how I was talking with my neighbor on trying to find a cheap cemetary an casket, Not a nice discussing to have especially with my daughter.
   I hate talking about that with her but she is my ride, she is going to be the caretaker an she needs to knows all aspects of what is happening an she knows that. And she knows I'am trying to figure out a way to take care of all the services before I pass.
 This Evening I am having chest pains an the pressure is so great, that it scares me an no I did not tell my daughter. I made a point to tell my children every night that I love them.
  So tomorrow I call these 2 cemetary because I was told they take payments and It might be only 2,000  but I will know for sure tomorrrow. So we have our fingers crossed.
  I'am not feeling sorry for myself but I weep for my children whom I wanted to see have get married, have children an all the good stuff. And most of all to be there for all of their graduation  first, then their 1st job. I still have 2 kids left to do that.
  I pray every night an ask for forgiveness an pray for my kids. I ask for longer time, I say just not yet please...