My first thoughts

     On  January 20, 2011. I was told by my doctor that I needed a lung transplant, Yes it was a shock! Though he is a lung doctor, he told me to see a lung transplant doctor so I did. My lung transplant doctor said" If I have the surgery that I would be  in worse shape after than I am now. I  just kinda took every thing in an not knowing what to ask then an left everything at that an when I got home I went over everything in my head an called the doctor back to ask more questions. So waiting to hear back from him. (I called Friday)
     When I first found out, I began to try an figure everything out of what needed to be done so my kids would not have to worry about, well you know my funeral cost, things they needed an information they need or want .I began by searching for cost of bural plots, cost of lawyer for last will, writting individual notes to all my children , letting them know what they did as babies,toddlers an funny or sad things they did. Just so they would know because I may not be there later for them to ask.
        I'am printing pictures for all of them,  so they can put them in their rooms cause I may not be there later.
     I have been ill for a long time, but May 1st, 2011 I finally got insurance. I was without my medicine for a long time. I stop work about 3yrs ago an got on Retirement Disability for my Lungs an I have COPD,, 19yrs ago I had lung surgery an it was caused by the doctors putting to much air in me before or during surgery I was having for etopic pregnacy, That's what they told me anyway. My left lung collapsed after surgery an so after waiting the 10 days it did not heal by itself so  the doctor had to staple it.
Yes! I'am scared, but more for  my children, I'am calm an collective. But my thoughts of what need to be done are often an I know I cannot do everything right away because I  have to save for it.
 My oldest daughter is taking it well so far as I can see but she kinda has too, I have let her know all required info I think an next week I go see a lawyer to take care of my will.
    My 14yr girl is going to live my oldest daughter because I am unable to take her to all of her appointments an to go to activities, she needs a normal life of happyness an not sadness,